Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes 2009: The year in review

Just like last year, Only At IA is ringing in the new year with a countdown of this year's best quotes. If you remember (or clicked the link), the format last year was a countdown and a series of awards, which is pretty much what I'm going to do this year. The big difference is this: last year, due to my not wanting any quote to appear twice, winning an award disqualified a quote from the countdown. Looking back on it that was kind of silly; avoiding redundancy is not sufficient grounds to deny a quote the recognition it deserves. With that, let's get started!

First we'll count down the best quotes of 2009. There are a lot more this year, but remember, I started collecting quotes about half way through 2008, and I'm repeating some from the awards, so it works out about right. Here we go!

30. "I never use first person."
-Mike S.

29. "You just have to hope to God that the people around you are dumb... or dumber than you."
-Sra. Riggs on the IB exam being graded on a bell curve

28. "I guessed really hard on that!"
-David G. on Spanish tests

27. "Russia's far away from itself!"
-Kyra H. on geography

26. "I think my brain thinks in knowledge issues."
-Cat K.

25. "Moodle senses how badly you need the information, and will shut down."
-Mr. Lyons

24. "I just love the technology in this school but it's not wanting to love me back."
-Srta. Fernández on trying to play a movie

23. "Why do they call this Math HL? It should be Learning How to Deal with Disappointment."
-Matt M.

22. "If you ever have a question about where your soul went, check your syllabus for ToK."
-Miss Davey on LTUAE

21. "The first phrase I learned in German was 'A mi no me gusta Deutsch.'"
-Alex T. on the Spanish for 'I don't like Deutsch'

20. "Yeah that was me trying to be cool. And I failed."
-Mr. Stibitz on the phrase 'you go girl'

19. "Let's not be violent, there's too much paperwork involved."
-Bridget S.

18. "So, its like going up a down escalator? That's so fun!"
-Jordan A. on active transport

17. "This is too easy; I will make it hard on myself because that is how this class is supposed to be."
-Miss Hessler on the average HL student's reaction to easy quizzes

16. "I'm not a distractable person, there's just distracting things that are happening all the time."
-Miss Davey on LTUAE

15. "Do not put that on the Internet or I'll smack you."
-An anonymous faculty member on a quote unlisted here for obvious reasons

14. "You insult people by combining a food with a body part."
-Amisha A. on calling me a picklehead

13. "There's a back to every worksheet. There's not always something written on it..."
-Mr. Lyons

12. "It just kinda blends into all the other annoying things in this class."
-Mr. Stibitz on my LED flashlight

11. "No, but I got a pencil sharpener that's also a wind-up robot."
-Simone S. on my asking if she got any Stabilos at the Dick Blick art supply store

10. "I think I've had one 'click' where math is concerned, and it was like one equals one."
-Miss Davey on epiphanies

9. "Whenever I watch a movie I really enjoy it, until the conflict comes in, then I get really stressed out."
-Zoë C.

8. "Sometimes I make up natural sciences."
-Miss Davey

7. "I could make some crazy argument that x-naught is x-n-o-t, which is x-not, which is not x, which is y."
-Mr. Giromini on how his students believe everything he says

6. "Number one was neurologist, number two was vending machine operator. Could they be more different?"
-Rachel B. on a career aptitude test

5. "This is the only environment where that type of personality makes sense."
-Simone S., referring to Sra. Riggs

4. "They're back here, away from dangerous things like coffee, soda and freshmen."
-Mrs. Neustadt on the location of submitted Extended Essays

3. "I never taught you guys projectile motion, so we never bombed the orphanage. Which was located next to the bomb factory. Which was where the kids worked."
-Mr. Lyons on the bizarre analogies he uses in class

2. "This one turned green. This one turned green-er. The average was green, plus-or-minus red."
-Mr. Giromini on Chem Labs


As before, let's save the top spot until after the awards. Speaking of awards, here they are!

The first award category is Most Contradictory. It was absolutely impossible to pick a single quote to win this one. Well not quite - I did pick one - but I had to mention more. In fact, I could only narrow it down to four. Fourth place goes to Miss Davey:

"Teachers, although we are perfect, sometimes have flaws."
-Miss Davey

Mike tied with himself for third and second:

"I never use first person."
-Mike S.

"'I'm not playing this game,' said Mike."
"-Mike S. on narration," wrote Josh ironically

And congratulations to Mr. Uhelski for being the winner of 1st place in the category of Most Contradictory:

"You may not use electronic devices while working on your laptop."
-Mr. Uhelski on irony


Most Educational goes to Jordan A.:

"So, its like going up a down escalator? That's so fun!"
-Jordan A. on active transport


The third award is for the Most Revealing. This was another one that was tough to pick, but good ol' Mr. Stibitz ended up with the title:

"It's not a very good riddle; I was just watching children's television."
-Mr. Stibitz on asking me for a word that rhymes with month


Most Random goes to Julia:

"You don't choke T-Rexes, they bite!"
-Julia K.


And bringing back another old favorite, Most True to the Speaker's View of LTUAE:

"I'm not a distractable person, there's just distracting things that are happening all the time."
-Miss Davey on LTUAE


Finally, a special award for my favorite quotes that mention Only At IA; I always appreciate it when a teacher or another student happens to mention my blog, even if its in a situation like:

"Do not put that on the Internet or I'll smack you."
-An anonymous faculty member on a quote unlisted here for obvious reasons

"That's why I end up on a frikkin' blog all the time!"
-Mr. Giromini on preferring to make up his jokes as he goes instead of repeating them for each period

"I feel that Only At IA is the International Academy's closest thing to Gossip Girl."
-Cat K.


And now, the best overall quote of 2009:

1. It's very common to see me everywhere in the building except where I'm supposed to be."
-Mr. Giromini


The best quote of all time stands from last year and deserves to be mentioned again:

"Trees are meant to die for your education. It's their purpose in life, except for the oxygen thing."
-Mr. Giromini on wasting paper


Congratulations to Mr. Giromini, of course, for taking the top spot both of 2009 and all-time, not to mention the second of this year and more. Congrats to (in no particular order) Sra. Riggs, Mr. Lyons, Srta. Fernández, Miss Davey, Mr. Stibitz, Miss Hessler, Mr. Uhelski, Mrs. Neustadt, Mike S., David G., Kyra H., Cat K., Matt M., Alex T., Bridget S., Jordan A., Amisha A., Simone S., Zoë C., Rachael B and Julia K. for making it into this post and to everyone whose quotes were posted this and last year. Happy New Year's, and see you in 2010!