The funny picture of the century

Moose showed me this picture a few days ago, and it has become among my top few favorite funny pictures of...well, ever. He said the picture used was taken of him at his computer, and the chart was assembled by his brother. It's now on Facebook, and he gave me permission to repost it here.


It's now the background image on my brain, and I still laugh every time I see it.

The last day before break...

...is a day for watching videos. Well, not in every class, but in a few at least. This morning in GLC we presented our Berlin Districts projects; we had to research a district in Berlin and create an infomercial advertising it. My group chose Friedrichshain (which I learned today is pronounced ,,FREED-richs-hayn," not ,,FREED-rich-shayn"), and this is what we came up with, if you're interested:



Anyway, after the presentations were done, Mr. Uhelski and John D. (that's the one with an h) showed us two German commercials which are well worth sharing. The first one is pretty self-explanatory:



and the second one is like one of those "Have an Idea?" commercials...I'm pretty sure it's for a contest where you enter with a cool idea or invention and can win money. Kann jemand dass Deutsch spricht bitte mir helfen? Stimmt das? Danke. Most of the important dialog is along the lines of ,,And now we wait," ,,He won't be driving through here anymore!" and ,,Don't film the flowers, come over here!" (you can match those up yourself); the text at 1:00 asks ,,Do you have a better do-it-yourself idea?" and the rest you can see for yourself:



Finally, three classes later in Fisix, I finally got Mr. Lyons to watch Der Riss in Der Hose, which is amazing on so many levels, but that's a different story. Anyway, before we got the video about fisix that we were actually supposed to watch, he showed us yet another of the countless differently-subtitled versions of that scene from Der Untergang where Hitler yells at everyone. This particular one, however, makes it onto OAIA quite easily...I'm sure you'll see why.

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part XXXIV

Sorry...I keep falling behind on posting quotes 'cause I've been so busy...but I think I'm about to be caught up. Look over there <---, and if you see a few it means I had the attention span to post the ones waiting to go up before getting distracted.

"I feel that Only At IA is the International Academy's closest thing to Gossip Girl."
-Cat

"If the subjunctive didn't exist, how could we talk about it's non-existence?!"
-Me on how I get to put one by me here if I want to

"Attack it like a bear."
-Mr. Woods on annotation

"I think my brain thinks in knowledge issues."
-Cat

"Laser eye surgery?! Those are lasers!"
-Swathi N. on the effects of radiation on human health

"Do not put that on the Internet or I'll smack you."
-An anonymous faculty member on a quote unlisted here for obvious reasons

"They're back here, away from dangerous things like coffee, soda and freshmen."
-Mrs. Neustadt on the location of submitted Extended Essays

"I'm one of those people that is very good at coming up with comebacks on the fly, even when they're not coming back."
-Marie

"They're not really pop quizzes, they're just quizzes that I forgot to listen for."
-Märie ön Qüizzes in Germänkläß

"I can't spell it."
-Allen on problems with CAS

"You may not use electronic devices while working on your laptop."
-Mr. Uhelski on irony

"I need to brush up on my mind-reading skills."
-Brian B. on the need to be able to read Mr. IB's mind to do well on IB exams

Other schools compete in things like football...

I got the following submission the other day from Ryan W. over at West:

"A few days ago, the Junior Physics class walked in to find 10 of the chairs stacked into a sculpture with only 1 chair touching the ground. We added a few more chairs in and left it for the original class to see. Today, we found over 20 chairs stacked. Not to be outdone, we took all 36 chairs in the room and stacked them together with only 1 touching the ground. OAIA."

It even came with pictures which I felt were worth sharing, so it's getting it's own post instead of going through the whole sidebar process. When I asked him for the rest of the story he sent back more info and some interesting pictures...so I'll let him tell the story:

"This is at West and the chair stacking took place between the junior and senior IB physics classes. (Juniors are 2nd block, seniors first.) Here is the full story:

The Seniors left a few chairs stacked together, probably something they did out of boredom at the end of class:


We expanded on that for a little while and produced this: (13 total)


A couple fell and our final piece for the day was this, which we left for the next class to find: (12 total)


The Senior class apparently heard about what we did and managed to get 22 or 23 chairs stacked together (sorry, no picture of this one).

We decided to beat them, so we took theirs apart and managed to get all 36 chairs in the classroom into the sculpture in the pictures I already sent you:



We had to take this one down though, because apparently the next class wanted to use chairs (we were content to just sit on desks to keep our masterpiece up). We ended up playing chair jenga, which resulted in a really loud crash."

Awesome. Thanks for the submission, and congratulations to the first Westerners to make the site!

Vesta's got the idea

As I mentioned, I believe Animal Crossing: City Folk to be the single best video game of all time. Disagree with me if you must, but at least wait until you've tried it for long enough to be sure (renting it from Blockbuster does not count!). Anyway, it really is absolutely brilliant. As I said in the previously-linked post, the animals in your town will periodically ask you for a new catchphrase or greeting. I still (or did when I wrote this in early August...heh heh sorry, it really isn't usually that long) always use "by Harvey" as the catchphrase and "Grüß Harvey" as the greeting. Although they both fit in entertainingly well, no character has ever fully understood the concept...until now. This picture was taken when I first introduced Vesta to my favorite greeting, and she was telling me how awesome it sounded:

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part XXXIII

I've been kinda busy lately...and have let the quotes build up. That means that I've got bunches of new ones; <----go look over there!

"You need to laugh louder."
-Mr. Stibitz to Mike B., the one person in his class to get his joke

"Die Mauer ist gefallen!"
-Me on a fitting Facebook status message on the night of the twentieth anniversary of the fall of the wall

"...it's been that way for a while now."
-Bri on the above

"That's the second time I've walking in here when I wished I didn't."
-Mr. Lyons on entering his classroom twice in the same class period to students working on design labs

"You got a satisfactory? WHOOO!!"
-Ms. Casazza on the 'above and beyond' category on IB rubrics.

"I'll send it off to the IB so teachers can send it up a flagpole and dance around it."
-Ms. Casazza on good internal assessments

"No, they don't actually do that."
-Ms. Casazza, moments later, on the above

"Windmills: Evil machines that gobble people up and put them in their place."
-Mr. Stibitz on the symbolism of windmills in Don Quixote

"The grades were either amazing or just....guh."
-Mr. Majask on testing

"Maybe they're prepping for the end of time."
-Mr. Wolf on the clocks breaking

"No, but I got a pencil sharpener that's also a wind-up robot."
-Simone on my asking if she got any Stabilos at the Dick Blick art supply store

Warning: the purchase and consumption of Smart Water has absolutely no effect on one's ninja abilities

As I walked into fisix class this afternoon, I saw Mr. Giromini standing at the front of the room talking with Mr. Lyons. They continued to talk as the class filed in, Kyra H. coming in about three minutes before the start of class and taking her seat in the front row. Almost as soon as she sat down she realized she had forgotten something, and asked for permission to go get her water bottle. Mr. Lyons informed her that, because there were a few minutes left before class started, she was technically still on her own time and therefore could go where she wanted. "But do I have time?" she asked. "And what if I'm back thirty seconds late?" Mr. Giromini took the opportunity to assert that he would mark her tardy and have her suspended. However she did decide that she had enough time, despite having to go all the way to her car. When Mr. Giromini heard mention of the car he informed her that students were not allowed to go out to their cars during school hours. She protested, but he wouldn't change his mind.

By this point most of the time she had had was gone, leaving only about thirty seconds. She insisted that she was really thirsty and started to look for money in her bag. Once she had found it she headed for the door, Mr. Giromini reminding her of the threat of suspension. As she walked out and down the hall I heard him mutter, "You think I'm kidding..."

More than thirty seconds later she returned to find that, while class had officially started, Mr. Lyons and Mr. Giromini were still at the front of the room talking. Kyra sits closest to the door, but the path around her table to her seat was blocked by Mr. Giromini, standing with his back to the door. She placed her Smart Water on the table and hesitantly tried to find a way to circumvent him without drawing his attention (although he later claimed that he saw her all along). After faking right and left a few times she apparently decided that it was futile, as she quickly dove under the table and started crawling under table and chair alike. In retrospect it may be easy to point out that that managed to attract not only Mr. Giromini's attention but that of the entire class, but it must have seemed like a good idea at the time. Of course he heard the unmistakable sound of an IA student diving for cover quite clearly, and crept slowly around the table himself. At about the point where her knees were passing under the chair he leaned down and barked at her. And loudly, too. The crash that followed shortly thereafter (caused by her legs smashing into the chair in shock) was loud enough to startle nearly everyone in the room, myself included. When I looked over to see her flipped on her back under the chair, quickly getting up while trying to look as composed as possible, I laughed so hard I cried. Literally.

Seniors zero, Supreme Chancellor of Olympics one. (Mr. Giromini: In case it's not obvious, I do expect to be able to come back next year on Olympics day to find you with the crown, cape, and staff we discussed. It was your idea, after all.)

A cool new idea

Today, someone at school gave me a suggestion that I've heard several times from several people over the course of the past few days. I like the idea, so I'm gonna try it out. Inspired by sites like FML and the far-superior MLIA, I am going to begin posting stories in a similar format. (Do not fear; these will neither replace nor inhibit the posting of other material.) Now here's the fun part: these stories will be submitted by you. Yes, you. Just send an email to Submissions@OnlyAtIA.com containing your story and how you would like your name to appear (if at all), and I'll post it if I like it (and when I get to it). If yours doesn't get posted the first time, don't worry! You many submit as many different stories as you like, so there are plenty of chances to get published. I plan on posting them in the sidebar then transferring them to a post just like I do with the quotes. Here are the rules and guidelines for submissions:

-The story MUST be true! Since I will have no way of verifying some of the stories you submit, I have to trust that you will not make them up. If I find out later that a story is not true, I reserve the right to change or delete it.
-Please use proper grammar. As I hope you've figured out by now, I like the stuff. I also reserve the right to make any corrections to the story before posting, and really bad grammer (like spelling grammar wrong) will lessen your chances of success.
-The normal format will follow that of MLIA and FML: Today, [insert a story that could only happen at IA]. OAIA (Normally not more than three or four sentences. Variations from this format are OK, as long as they make sense and/or are comedically effective.)
-Have fun with it! Try to keep it original, witty, and hilarious!

For example:

Today, an IA student posted as their Facebook status message, "Why do the weekends go so fast?" Another student commented with a link to an article from BBC News entitled, "Why having fun makes time speed," complete with a thorough scientific investigation into the matter. OAIA

Today, I realized that we IA students dread and complain about having to go to the "pep rally," one of the few sports-related events at our school, yet look forward to and greet with thunderous applause the assembly about Indian culture and dancing. I laughed at the irony. OAIA

Remember, just send an email to Submissions@OnlyAtIA.com. Be sure to include your name, as I will give credit to those who would like it. Thank you in advance for your submissions! OAIA

IAtionary: Tener Divertido

Ten-er Di-ver-ti-do [tehn-ehr dee-vehr-TEE-doh] v.

1. To be in posession of fun; Tengo divertido en mi bolsa, y quiero usarlo durante la clase de historia (I have/am in posession of fun in my pocket, and I want to use it during history class)
2. To make a mistake in Spanish grammar; He generally does well on Spanish orals, but he always teners divertido (also acceptable: tiene divertido) when there's too much pressure
3. To say something incorrectly in Spanish that demostrates the need to review basic grammar; "I cannot tell you how many of you are tenering divertido" -Sra. riggs

The Spanish verb meaning "to have fun" is divertirse, literally more like "to enjoy oneself." Unfortunately, many Spanish students try to translate our way of saying it directly, with the result above.

Eakspay Igpay Atinlay Ayday

This past Thursday was Speak French Day, when everyone in FHS who wants to participate wears a French flag and speaks only French for the entire day. On Speak French Day last year I wanted to participate, but alas, I do not speak French. I came up with a plan, but by then it was too late to implement it that day. I saved it for this year, and it turned out quite well. The plan was this: print a picture of a pig, pin it to myself like the French students do with their French flags, and speak Pig Latin all day. Unfortunately, I did not know that Speak French Day was Thursday until Thursday morning, so I was not able to print a pig. Fortunately, I was sitting in front of David when I realized this, so I asked him to draw one for me. This is what he came up with:


Very nice for such short notice, and more than sufficient for the task ahead of it. My first class was ToK, and Mr. Wolf gave me permission to speak English (a rule which applies to all those participating in Speak French Day) for pretty much the entire hour, so nothing Pig Latin-related (other than the drawing of the pig and my search for tape to attach it to my shirt) took place. Second hour was Spanish, where we are required to speak entirely in Spanish for an hour and a half. I used Spanish Pig Latin (which I found out is not quite as hard as it sounds) during my conversations with Sra. Riggs, and she seemed quite impressed. We were reading our novel aloud in small groups that day; I tried it while reading to my group and got through several paragraphs before they noticed. However I then reverted back to regular Spanish, as of course I wasn't internalizing any of what I was reading in Anishspay. Going a bit out of order, fourth hour was math, during which I didn't speak all that much, and when I did Miss Hessler let me speak English.

Third hour, history, was (I feel) the most enriched by Speak Pig Latin Day. We were discussing the concept of a just war, i.e. different rationales for going to war and the validity of each. We were divided into groups, and each group was put in charge of an imaginary country. I was with Moose and Shriram, and I wanted our country to have an awesome name. Mr. Majask hadn't planned to give the countries names, but I asked if ours could be pig-themed. Laughing, he shrugged off the question. "How about Pigland?" I suggested, but quickly realized that that sounded dumb. Jokingly, and from across he room, Mr. Majask suggested Pigonia. I liked it, and that became out country's name. We then got to work thinking of ideas for our military's code of conduct, like that it is acceptable to fight off an invading nation, but not to go to war over natural resources. We also had to decide which sorts of targets it was OK to bomb, from a list of places like bases, military hospitals, schools, etc. When we shared our ideas for acceptable reasons to go to war, one group suggested that if a large number of a country's citizens were attacked on foreign soil, that country would have the right to go to war with the attackers. To clarify, Mr. Majask gave an example of what he thought the group meant. He explained: if a group of three hundred Pigonian citizens on an airplane were shot down by Butcheronia, Pigonia would have the right to declare war.

Also, when I went to write the name of the country in my iPod so I wouldn't forget before I wrote this post, it auto-corrected the word "Pigonia" for me. Furthermore, a Google search for "Pigonia" yields 89,400 results, yet there is no Wikipedia article with that title. Generally speaking, of course, this is sufficient grounds to conclude that something doesn't exist, but I'm curious about this one. Most of the useful-looking results are in Polish, so could someone who speaks Polish help me out on this one? It's IA...I know you're out there.

Die Zeit Fliegt

Starting sometime last week, all the school's clocks have been frozen, slow, fast, and in a general state of anarchy. Luckily most have been fixed by now, but today in German Language Culture, Mr. Uhelski noticed that the one in his room was still several minutes off. This continued to mix him up throughout the first part of the hour as he kept glancing over at it to keep himself on schedule. Shortly thereafter, he asked John D. (that's junior John D.) to take care of the problem. Or, more accurately, he asked for someone with decent artistic skills and handwriting, and John volunteered, saying his artistic skills weren't great but his handwriting was acceptable. Mr. Uhelski then gave him the instructions to cut out an orange circle the size of the clock (because that was the color paper he had readily available), write a certain message on it, and tape it over the clock. Here's how it turned out:


,,Die Zeit fliegt," (dee TSAHYT fleegt) means "time flies," and apparently that helps us remember that the clock is broken. Well, it worked for me anyway. Yes, it's a bit of an oval, and yes, John heard about that, but he did volunteer based on handwriting after all, so I'll let that one...well...fly.