Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes 2009: The year in review

Just like last year, Only At IA is ringing in the new year with a countdown of this year's best quotes. If you remember (or clicked the link), the format last year was a countdown and a series of awards, which is pretty much what I'm going to do this year. The big difference is this: last year, due to my not wanting any quote to appear twice, winning an award disqualified a quote from the countdown. Looking back on it that was kind of silly; avoiding redundancy is not sufficient grounds to deny a quote the recognition it deserves. With that, let's get started!

First we'll count down the best quotes of 2009. There are a lot more this year, but remember, I started collecting quotes about half way through 2008, and I'm repeating some from the awards, so it works out about right. Here we go!

30. "I never use first person."
-Mike S.

29. "You just have to hope to God that the people around you are dumb... or dumber than you."
-Sra. Riggs on the IB exam being graded on a bell curve

28. "I guessed really hard on that!"
-David G. on Spanish tests

27. "Russia's far away from itself!"
-Kyra H. on geography

26. "I think my brain thinks in knowledge issues."
-Cat K.

25. "Moodle senses how badly you need the information, and will shut down."
-Mr. Lyons

24. "I just love the technology in this school but it's not wanting to love me back."
-Srta. Fernández on trying to play a movie

23. "Why do they call this Math HL? It should be Learning How to Deal with Disappointment."
-Matt M.

22. "If you ever have a question about where your soul went, check your syllabus for ToK."
-Miss Davey on LTUAE

21. "The first phrase I learned in German was 'A mi no me gusta Deutsch.'"
-Alex T. on the Spanish for 'I don't like Deutsch'

20. "Yeah that was me trying to be cool. And I failed."
-Mr. Stibitz on the phrase 'you go girl'

19. "Let's not be violent, there's too much paperwork involved."
-Bridget S.

18. "So, its like going up a down escalator? That's so fun!"
-Jordan A. on active transport

17. "This is too easy; I will make it hard on myself because that is how this class is supposed to be."
-Miss Hessler on the average HL student's reaction to easy quizzes

16. "I'm not a distractable person, there's just distracting things that are happening all the time."
-Miss Davey on LTUAE

15. "Do not put that on the Internet or I'll smack you."
-An anonymous faculty member on a quote unlisted here for obvious reasons

14. "You insult people by combining a food with a body part."
-Amisha A. on calling me a picklehead

13. "There's a back to every worksheet. There's not always something written on it..."
-Mr. Lyons

12. "It just kinda blends into all the other annoying things in this class."
-Mr. Stibitz on my LED flashlight

11. "No, but I got a pencil sharpener that's also a wind-up robot."
-Simone S. on my asking if she got any Stabilos at the Dick Blick art supply store

10. "I think I've had one 'click' where math is concerned, and it was like one equals one."
-Miss Davey on epiphanies

9. "Whenever I watch a movie I really enjoy it, until the conflict comes in, then I get really stressed out."
-Zoë C.

8. "Sometimes I make up natural sciences."
-Miss Davey

7. "I could make some crazy argument that x-naught is x-n-o-t, which is x-not, which is not x, which is y."
-Mr. Giromini on how his students believe everything he says

6. "Number one was neurologist, number two was vending machine operator. Could they be more different?"
-Rachel B. on a career aptitude test

5. "This is the only environment where that type of personality makes sense."
-Simone S., referring to Sra. Riggs

4. "They're back here, away from dangerous things like coffee, soda and freshmen."
-Mrs. Neustadt on the location of submitted Extended Essays

3. "I never taught you guys projectile motion, so we never bombed the orphanage. Which was located next to the bomb factory. Which was where the kids worked."
-Mr. Lyons on the bizarre analogies he uses in class

2. "This one turned green. This one turned green-er. The average was green, plus-or-minus red."
-Mr. Giromini on Chem Labs


As before, let's save the top spot until after the awards. Speaking of awards, here they are!

The first award category is Most Contradictory. It was absolutely impossible to pick a single quote to win this one. Well not quite - I did pick one - but I had to mention more. In fact, I could only narrow it down to four. Fourth place goes to Miss Davey:

"Teachers, although we are perfect, sometimes have flaws."
-Miss Davey

Mike tied with himself for third and second:

"I never use first person."
-Mike S.

"'I'm not playing this game,' said Mike."
"-Mike S. on narration," wrote Josh ironically

And congratulations to Mr. Uhelski for being the winner of 1st place in the category of Most Contradictory:

"You may not use electronic devices while working on your laptop."
-Mr. Uhelski on irony


Most Educational goes to Jordan A.:

"So, its like going up a down escalator? That's so fun!"
-Jordan A. on active transport


The third award is for the Most Revealing. This was another one that was tough to pick, but good ol' Mr. Stibitz ended up with the title:

"It's not a very good riddle; I was just watching children's television."
-Mr. Stibitz on asking me for a word that rhymes with month


Most Random goes to Julia:

"You don't choke T-Rexes, they bite!"
-Julia K.


And bringing back another old favorite, Most True to the Speaker's View of LTUAE:

"I'm not a distractable person, there's just distracting things that are happening all the time."
-Miss Davey on LTUAE


Finally, a special award for my favorite quotes that mention Only At IA; I always appreciate it when a teacher or another student happens to mention my blog, even if its in a situation like:

"Do not put that on the Internet or I'll smack you."
-An anonymous faculty member on a quote unlisted here for obvious reasons

"That's why I end up on a frikkin' blog all the time!"
-Mr. Giromini on preferring to make up his jokes as he goes instead of repeating them for each period

"I feel that Only At IA is the International Academy's closest thing to Gossip Girl."
-Cat K.


And now, the best overall quote of 2009:

1. It's very common to see me everywhere in the building except where I'm supposed to be."
-Mr. Giromini


The best quote of all time stands from last year and deserves to be mentioned again:

"Trees are meant to die for your education. It's their purpose in life, except for the oxygen thing."
-Mr. Giromini on wasting paper


Congratulations to Mr. Giromini, of course, for taking the top spot both of 2009 and all-time, not to mention the second of this year and more. Congrats to (in no particular order) Sra. Riggs, Mr. Lyons, Srta. Fernández, Miss Davey, Mr. Stibitz, Miss Hessler, Mr. Uhelski, Mrs. Neustadt, Mike S., David G., Kyra H., Cat K., Matt M., Alex T., Bridget S., Jordan A., Amisha A., Simone S., Zoë C., Rachael B and Julia K. for making it into this post and to everyone whose quotes were posted this and last year. Happy New Year's, and see you in 2010!

Crossword: My Sociology Experiment 2.0

If you know me, you probably also know that I think it's fun to see how people react to unusual situations. This is especially fun at IA because said reactions are frequently awesome. For example, the last time I tried a sociology experiment it went rather well. This post is going to be about another attempt at something similar, but also quite a bit different, so hang on tight.

During the penultimate physics class of 2009 (the last one before the midterm), we had finished reviewing and had some time to ourselves. While I was sitting at my desk a thought occurred to me and I found that I had said it out loud before it had even finished taking shape: "I feel like drawing a really complex crossword puzzle on the board." It was that simple; don't ask me where the idea came from or why I decided it was a good one. I had a good 15 or 20 minutes of class left, so I went over to the whiteboard on the side of the room (which Mr. Lyons hardly ever uses) and got to work. In that time I managed to come up with quite a puzzle, especially considering that there was no planning involved whatsoever; I pretty much just thought of clues one at a time and added in the word wherever I found a shared letter. This explains the somewhat unorganized numbering system - traditionally the boxes are numbered from left to right then top to bottom like the letters on a page - but I'm willing to overlook that if you are. Here's what I came up with; I needed multiple pictures because of the not-so-great resolution of my cell phone camera, but you can click all of them to get a closer look:

Here's the puzzle itself; I Photoshopped (OK, Fireworksed) the numbers and the ümläüt in because they were hard to read otherwise, and I should clear up that there are two separate boxes that I had to squeeze in below the number 7 and above the word "Across." Now for the clues:


If you want to try your hand at it, you can print a cleaner copy using this printable version in PDF format...in fact, I challenge you to do so. I had planned on posting the puzzle and the answers together, but as I go I'm liking more and more the idea of waiting a while. OK so here's what I'll do: once this post goes up, you will have a limited amount of time (at least a week but probably not more than until the end of break) to try to solve the puzzle. If you can email the correct answers to josh@OnlyAtIA.com before the answers appear, you will get your name in the hall of fame that will be in the post with the answers. I encourage you to send your answers even if you don't know all of them for sure. If I see that there are still people working on it, the deadline is more likely to be later. Besides, you can submit your answers more than once. So one more time, here's the printable version. Missed it? OK here it is again. Good luck to everyone!

Submissions, Part I

I'm gonna stick with the Roman numerals...I like them. Thanks to everyone who submitted, and I look forward to seeing what else you guys can come up with!

Today, I went on www.onlyatia.com and received an error message reading, "THE GAME. You just lost it." I clicked OK and scrolled up and down the page over and over until I had received the message twenty times, laughing the entire time. Then my carpool driver came and I had to wait until we reached IA to repeat the process silently. OAIA
-Abby S., sophomore

I spent 7 hours on the computer last night writing a speech about procrastination. I procrastinated for roughly 6.5 of those hours. I got an A on the essay. OAIA
-Abby S., sophomore

Today, I (an IA graduate and college sophomore) was in a class on Thomas Mann's novel Doctor Faustus and we were discussing the historical background - basically the history of Germany in 19th and early 20th centuries. When our professor got to Bismarck I could feel myself holding my breath, and I was so relieved when he took less than 10 minutes to go through it. And then I felt myself wanting to add more...OAIA
-Anonymous, class of '08

Today at lunch, I developed a system of carrying my chair while I walk with my tray, so that nobody jacks my chair when I get up to get ketchup. OAIA.
-Tanmay S., sophomore

Today I lost The Game... 20 times. OAIA
-Liam G.

Today, I finished my homework before 4:00. I had no idea what to do with myself. OAIA.
-Simone S., freshman

Today, someone made a joke about valid sources. People actually thought it was funny and laughed. OAIA.
-Simone S., freshman

Cedward Cullory is watching you

This past Thursday we seniors took our Spanish midterm, undoubtedly like most other students of Spanish did. I have Spanish second hour, and my first hour teacher had let us out a little bit early that day, so I managed to arrive just before Sra. Riggs let her first hour class leave. Not aware of this, I walked in to Sra. asking me to wait outside. I did, but not before I noticed something surprising: there was a huge poster of Robert Pattinson on the whiteboard, staring blank-eyed at the students hurrying to finish their tests. Both interested and mildly creeped out, I waited until the class was let go to enter and ask her about it. What she said was lost to me among a flurry of rapid-fire Spanish, midterm preparation and quickly departing first hour students. Still having almost ten minutes before class started, I went up to the board and wrote CEDRIC DIGGORY! in big letters next to the poster. Before I knew it, it was time to start the test. I tried to get an answer from Sra. a couple more times that day, but each was either 1) hushed and incomplete due to the tests still in progress, 2) made to seem less important by the prospect of getting to lunch on time, or 3) all of the above.

The next day, I decided to try again. I found her talking to a group of students in the hallway, and I thought I heard a word or two relating to the poster, so I stopped to listen. It turns out they were discussing it, and as the students dissipated I was able to get some direct information. Here's what I found out:

There had been a tutoring session the previous day after school. Apparently someone in the session (either the tutors or the tutored, this fact is unknown) had left the poster there on the whiteboard for her to find. She thought the concept of Robert Pattinson staring at us while we tried to focus on our midterms was funny, (which, I must admit, it really is when you think about it, and besides it didn't affect the actual test; we all forgot about it once we got started), so she decided to leave it up. I believe her words were something like, "Es un poco de diversión para mí, nada más."

She also pointed out that she observed two very distinct reactions, with students tending toward the extremes and very rarely staying in the middle. They either stared at him open-mouthed for a moment and proclaimed how incredibly cute he was, or loudly protested, claiming that it would be impossible to take the midterm with a vampire staring them in the face. On a related note, it is unknown who was responsible for the talk bubble which appeared later saying, "Soy el más sexy de todos."

P.S. I'm working on getting a picture of this one; I'll post it soon if I can, but no guarantees.

Some Fun and Out-of-Context Quotes, Part XXXV

There are definitely some good ones in here. I'm pretty sure we'll see how they stand up on New Year's; I'm planning a similar thing.

"Which is supposed to be the most joyous time in my life, according to the greeting cards I got."
-Mr. Lyons on the births of his children

"Most of what I put in the notes I make up."
-Mr. Lyons

"After extended essay, I have no consideration for trees anymore."
-Cat

"I'm such a paper-waster; I just realized that all of these have backs."
-David G. on pages in a notebook

"Stop talking about waterslides and llamas!"
-Mrs. Osinski on her A1 class focusing

"Ok, if you guys can stop talking about llamas and waterslides for fifteen minutes, we'll watch that YouTube video I told you about earlier!"
-Mrs. Osinski on the above

"So, its like going up a down escalator? That's so fun!"
-Jordan A. on active transport

"Your mom is stupid!"
-Adira in response to her sister calling her stupid.

"Why do they call this Math HL? It should be Learning How to Deal with Disappointment."
-Matt M.

"Grr, rawr, and other generic terms of disappointment!"
-Kenny on vocalization

"13 is not a number that promotes harmony or order."
-Anonymous on confusing the number of apostles Jesus had

¿Así de fácil?

Sra. Riggs has always had lots of Spanish-related things in her room. As you know if you clicked the link, my second favorite is the fácil button. I hit it pretty much every time I enter or exit the room, as it makes the transitions between hallway, room and back much more interesting. Today, I went to hit it as always but realized it wasn't there. I looked around for a while...nothing. When I asked Sra. where it had gone, she told me someone had stolen it! Oh no!

A bit later I noticed this paper hanging on the whiteboard, which Sra. told me had been made by Mr. Stibitz:


I love this sign so much, mainly because it's so Mr. Stibitz. For you non-Spanish speakers, se busca means something along the lines of "looked for," but it's more than that. The fancy grammar word, I believe, is "incomplete passive construction," meaning basically that there's nothing explicitly doing the looking, it's just happening. No flashy font, no fancy photos, just what needs to be said. I automatically read this sign in his voice, by the way. If you haven't been, try it now.

And if you know where the fácil button is, please help it find its way home; room 105 misses it.

Productivity Fail

In GLC the other day we were using laptops to work on our Berlin assignments. I booted mine up (Rather quickly too! What happened?) to find a nice autumn scene as the desktop wallpaper and got to work. Caitlin M., however, had this, complete with animation:

It still astounds me that we were able to get anything done at all after that. I must know: who did this? Please speak up...you rock.

As an aside, I'd also like to mention that several days before this I was on a school laptop and tried to type my name. I am a dysfunctional typist (I still have to look at the keyboard:( ), and I accidentally typed "Fosh." Laughing at myself, I tried again. Still "Fosh." Hoping no one else saw, I tried again, this time choosing each key with careful precision. Shift, J. O. S. H. OK, all set. But alas, it still said "Fosh!" It took me a good five minutes of puzzlement in total to realize that someone had switched the F and J keys.